if you say shit to me for using the word “literally” when im speaking figuratively then i will literally slam your face into a wall repeatedly (and i can assure you i am using the word correctly here)
homework to do: hella
homework i’ve done: negative hella
The best thing I ever bought was a banana costume for my dog. Hands down. It shames her so I put it on when we expect new people to come to our house and it keeps her from being crazy. She just stands there.
IF THIS ISNT THE BEST VIDEO YOUVE SEEN ON THIS SITE THEN IDK WHAT YOURE DOIN
It’s been two years and I’m still laughing at this video
MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.
"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"
a li tter box cae k„
congratulations on turning 91
so pretty shibe
Its about to get nsfw in here
This tree makes の sense.
get the fuck out of here you clever little shit
OH MY FUCKING GOD FUCK
HOLY FUCK I JUST
best pun award goes to…
YOU’VE UPSET TITS
THIS IS LIKE MY FAVORITE COMIC EVER
Ladies and gentleman, 21 year old twins and child stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
i spent 32,600 bells to make this joke